Mary Louise Starkey

I have become a tea lover!  While the Chrysanthemum tisane is most dramatic while watching the chrysanthemum flower open as it steeps, and green teas are described as more healthful, and good white and red teas are not readily accessible, I prefer black teas.  Denver’s world famous Brown Palace Hotel created their own Crown Royal black tea for their impressive afternoon tea through Allegro, using a mixture of Ceylon and Assam loose leaf teas.  I am of the old school.  I tried many different teas through-out my world travels and came to my daily favorite, a middle eastern tea called Sadaf: a Melange special avec Earl Grey.  This little gem can be purchased from Sadaf Foods out of California www.sadaf.com or at most Middle Eastern specialty stores.

Dear Mrs. Starkey,

I want to take a moment to thank you personally for having me as a student.  I know I was not your best student but I learned a lot about being a household manager as well as myself.  I certainly feel I have grown as a person and gained confidence and strength within.

You're a character of many colors (hats) and I have much respect for your continued journey to help people achieve their dreams.

I am proud of myself for attending Starkey, mainly because of my age of 67.  Yet I feel and act 40.

Thank you over again,

Robert D. VaShaw

I have been watching a trend in our profession.  The expectations of our Principals are dramatically increasing.  This is true as our employer marketplace has grown to include many new high-net worth employers who are quick, very smart, and assume that our Private Service profession is seasoned and well developed.  It’s my opinion, but as yet, the transformation from uneducated servitude to Household Management is incomplete!

Per my many interactions with the Wall Street Journal, there are reasonably 9 million employers of private staff and growing.  Our current economy shows a greatly diminished middle class.  Meanwhile, the upper class has grown and our profession just does not have the educated and seasoned personnel to support it.

The collective mind of our profession has been centered in the old ways of private, old guard service - where the female principal of the home understands her role of setting the household standards and putting a functional structure in place, in which the staff can both complete their duties and serve.   New persons entering the profession expect to be told what to do, and that these expectations will be reasonable.  This however, is not what is occurring.  New employers, especially in this underemployed environment we find ourselves in, expect to have a plethora of highly educated, seasoned, skilled, and ready candidates who know what they are doing, know how to set up service management plans, and know how to effectively train and support private service staff in multiple residences.  In truth, there are few individuals who have been really trained in Household Management; those who are experienced do not typically come with real management background or possess service management tools.  They ultimately still operate in crisis modes.  Further, there are not enough of those that do genuinely have the “right stuff” to fill the current need.  In some instances, General Manager’s of the hotel world have been recruited on the scene for the larger 20,000 square foot homes, but they too do not have the Private Service savvy or real service management expertise.  Wall Street hoteliers have been trained in the business of service, not the service of service, and are used to having a seasoned technical support in place – both in the front and in the back of the house.

What’s the answer?  Continue to get yourself educated!   This profession is not going away anytime soon.  Be wary of positions where there are employers who are new to service, where there is not a “Service Management Plan” to meet their specific service expectations in place.  Principals must too recognize that they have a role to play in receiving excellent service; they must know what they want and staff accordingly.

We made an Aspen field trip last week to attend the Greenalicious fund raiser to help raise awareness of children’s obesity.  It was a wonderful experience for me, our Chef Althoff, and our Director of Placement, Gary Smith.  We donated one of our wonderful 9 course private formal dinners here at the mansion…I believe it sold for $4,500. The Children’s Health Foundation brought in notable Chef’s from all over the US, and as you might imagine, the food was sensational.  As a side note, the auction was one of the best I have ever attended.  My 2 entertainment centered sons and their wives will be receiving for Christmas a free trip to Nashville with center seats at a Grand Ole Opry concert and private sessions with song producers.  I hope they think I am a great mom!

Household Management Class 120 completed their entertaining curriculum of wine and formal entertaining last night.  We often donate our dinners to a non-profit and are purchased by a patron, and this was no exception.  The guests, a lovely group of 12, mostly Denver physicians were mesmerized by not only the finally choreographed ballet of service directed by our educator Debra Bullock, but the culinary artistry created by Chef Althoff was absolutely over the top this time.  In my world travels, I have developed a pallet, and Chef's creamy artichoke soup was indeed a masterpiece.  Thanks to all, students and staff both at the front of the house and the back. Dr. Lloyd Lewan and I agreed,  it was a first class experience!

I am frustrated today with the level of knowledge a few of my current students have exhibited.  Now in week four and having completed approximately 150 hours of Starkey education, they have not taken on the conscientiousness or service savvy one would hope for.  While they are indeed serious students, how hard can it be to just bring in my daily lunch without someone holding their hand?  Sound familiar?  “How hard can it be to perform simple tasks?” 

In the world of education we all want to be shown exactly how things are done in order to be successful.  However, in private service, each Principal may give these students unique directions on how to accomplish a specific task.  Now, this is week four, as I stated, and I have held the hand of the first three students who have carried out this somewhat simplified task.  They each request that they be individually instructed, as opposed to learning from each other.  On the other side of the coin, these are not beginners to service we are educating; these are bright Household Management students expecting to take over the overall management of sophisticated homes.  Are we ever in trouble!  In reading other industry newsletters over the years, one reads about how to polish silver, wash a fine piece of china, and of course iron a shirt.  On the NBC Today Show, Ms. Martha Stewart said a white shirt could be ironed in 10 minutes but Matt Lauer was still stumbling after 20 minutes.

But we are speaking of just bringing in lunch here, not a highly technical, product proven skill!  So I began to consider the number of factors associated with bringing in lunch.  They have to include:  intrusion into someone’s space, privacy of the activities being performed within the space, is the person hungry, what is the lunch, how do you interrupt to ask if I am interested in eating, knowing what the culinary offering of the Chef is, how the food was prepared, what is in the recipe, what beverage would go with the food, where to position the tray, how to put the tray in front of me without disturbing me as I am on the phone, taking just the plate off the tray, and placing it before me as to accommodate a small amount of available desk space, where to stand when doing so, and if one should speak to me or not -- to just name a few of the factors.  This is a great exercise in service delivery. 

In the end, Service Management is 60% psychologically understanding who you are serving and their specific expectations.  The balance is technical and you really have to know your Principal.

Today a prospective client called, seeking private service training for her current household staff.  She exclaimed, “Whew!  You were hard to find, Mrs. Starkey!”  Given that Starkey International comes up first when you Google Household Management, I was stunned until I asked, “What were your search words?”  She replied, “Domestic Staff Training.”  Those who know me and my work understand that I have been a wordsmith for this unique profession of Private Service and have written extensively for the industry, developing the use of over 100 words and terms including coining the title “Household Manager.”

Over the years I have rallied against ever referring to our Graduates as “Domestics.”    The term domestic often has a negative association including: uneducated, low skill, not always trustworthy, non-English speaking, and more; this is not a good beginning for a growing young profession.   The word Domestic is defined in Webster’s 1999 edition as, “pertaining to the home, family, or household affairs” and “tame; domesticated”.  Much of my work over the last 30 years has been to actually create a world-recognized, well-respected, educated, and appropriately paid profession.  The term domestic continues to play a vital role in defining those that do the more unskilled, hand’s on cleaning and outside heavy grounds work in private service.  However, to continue to utilize the word Domestic to define, categorize, or refer to those who have attained years of service management education, abilities, and expertise as a “domestic” is much like referring to an architect as a carpenter!

I was recently a guest on Pro Sports Wives Radio

I can consider myself a religious and a spiritual man. The religious aspect of me can be best compared to that of a religious extremist, because those within my network promoted nothing except our own beliefs, values, and ghetto moral fiber. We believed in our turf; we worshipped it. We cared nothing for society’s wants, hopes, needs and dreams simply because they never cared for any of our own.  Our distorted reality only aggravated these circumstances and we evolved to become volatile concoctions of mayhem and destruction- which ultimately insured that not only do we become a highly potential risk to the status quo and our own collective societies; we become victims to our own venomous, psychoactive selves.  This caste of young miscreants and hooligans that I describe has been classified as gang-members. They infect the population like the AIDS virus.

The inevitable outcome of this complex life-problem is simply death or prison. It has conditioned us to accept this grim truth. Death is the only collector that cannot be ducked and dodged. We recklessly have beckoned this entity that we have termed as Death. At one time or another, we’ve stared it in the eyes in heavy situations… and it blinked first. MY own reward for this transitory victory was being remanded to a county jail first hand, then ultimately sent to a Colorado prison for multiple years.

Dear readers:

            As The Starkey Institute’s attorney, it is important to mention a mistake made in the November 12, 2010 article by Bill Johnson known as “Elegance on menu for felons.”  Although the dinner was remarkable, and stories were shared, Mary Starkey did not convey any information about an assault conviction.  Although Ms. Starkey was accused years ago of assaulting a student, all charges related to those allegations were dismissed in court in their entirety.  I thought the record should be set straight.

            David M. Bost, Esq.

David M. Bost
Law Offices of David M. Bost
1290 Williams Street, Suite 203
Denver, Colorado 80218
(303) 399-4900
fax (303) 393-1225
e.mail dmbost@idcomm.com

From the Denver Post

By Bill Johnson

She tells the story of last Friday evening with such delight now, reveling at the memory of her chef, formerly of the White House, disgustedly taking a blow torch to his perfectly cooked lamb chops.

Mary Louise Starkey for weeks had worried over her invitation to the five felons, all out on parole, to sit at her long, white linen-covered and elegantly appointed dinner table at Starkey Mansion.

"Am I exposing myself and my school to their past relationships and the gang world?" she fretted.

By the time the ginger pumpkin soup was finished, she felt embarrassed to have worried.

It's all about relationships! Starkey hosted our "Annual Appreciation Garden Party" last week; 90 instructors, presenters and vendors attended. The weather was perfect, the service seamless. The synergy felt like family, and guests shared their visions for excellence. We sipped St. Roch les Veignes rosé with Chef Althoff's cuisine.  Private Service is the most exciting career opportunity around.  Service is no longer servitude...its service as an expertise.

*Update - videos of the Garden Party at: http://www.starkeyintl.com/media.htm *

Hi there Lady,
 
It's been 13 + years. How time flies.
It was a great experience that you offered me and thank God I took it. The years in service gave me the opportunity to have what I have today. RETIRED! I love it.The 9 + years I worked were a good part of my education. I learned so much from you, the school and the people I worked for.
Today is what it is all about for me. Sober 31 years, Healthy and Happy. I'm so glad all is going well for you and the school.  I'd love to visit sometime when I get to Denver. Keep up the good work and let me hear from you when you have time.
 
Peace,
Joseph

Good Morning Mrs. Starkey,

I thought I would shoot you a quick email to just to say "hello"!

Just received the Starkey newsletter and can't believe it's been THREE years since I graduated!!  I miss Denver sometimes.

Everything is going extremely well.  I am not sure if you heard or if I told you but after some "reorganizing" with Sky River I ended up getting laid off.  Most of us did actually.

Excerpt from “The Art of Service” by Paola Bettinelli of The Work Style Magazine

Read the Entire Article Here!

Mary Louise Starkey defines a butler as “a professional who is trained in the overall management of a private home”. There have always been excellent career prospects for one who chooses this profession, and this trend continues to the present. The number of professional butlers worldwide has increased steadily over the past 25 years. You can find butlers in multi-million dollar homes in every country in the world. Newton Cross stresses that “with the modern day butler the emphasis is moving to total lifestyle management, instead of the traditional role…multitasking is the keyword”. Usually, continues Mr. Cross, “the younger, recently qualified butlers often find work in hotels, guest houses and game lodges where there is still an element of supervision and guidance. They are also in huge demand on luxury yachts, cruise liners and trains. The older more experienced is better suited for the domestic household where the responsibilities and pressure can be huge“.

I wrote the title to this article as a reflection of the Season in Colorado – its Spring!  However, after writing it I realized the MLB team Colorado Rockies also started regular season play yesterday and will have their home opener on Friday.   So, for many types of “seasons” – its Spring!  There is a freshness to all things and a new-ness that only comes with the Season.  Today, for instance, in Colorado we had some sun, some rain, some sleet and some snow.  The old season hangs on while the new season makes itself known.  May the Season of Spring bring to you renewed and fresh economic activity and renewed energy on the path to personal and business successes.

Had a busy December.  2010 looks hopeful with new opportunity for Starkey.  Wishing every one success and prosperity in the year ahead.

Dear Graduates, Employers, and Friends; 

Just a short note to wish you all happy holidays…    It’s been a challenging year for all of us around the globe.  Much in life and in business has changed.  The key words seem to be “life is not the same as it was”.  What that means to those of us in Private Service is to stop for moments each day to center yourself, and remember, what is most important is the relationship in service. As nothing seems to work the same as it did, we all are either re-inventing ourselves, how we think, finding new ways of accomplishing tasks, or needing to communicate more often at a much higher level, on a greater number of subjects.  It’s not personal, it’s just the way things are these days.   I do not remember ever having to work so hard to accomplish what I have done for 30 years.